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Concordance of the Harry Potter Universe

LUCIUS MALFOY'S
DAILY SCHEDULE

A day in the life of Lucius Malfoy:

7:00 am Time to wake up and berate house elf for not singing "Wake Up Sunshine" in the key of F.
7:30 Breakfast. Berate house elf for presenting copy of the Daily Prophet upside down.
8:00 Lovingly polish collection of Dark Arts Memorabilia.
12:00pm Lunch. Berate house elf for putting two sprigs of parsley on quiche, not three. Two sprigs are for the even-numbered days.
12:30 Write stern letter to Draco threatening to throw out his vintage collection of Chocolate Frog cards if he doesn't get better marks than that mudblood Hermione Granger in Potions ASAP. Berate house elf for not clipping the claws on owl at a precise angle.
1:00 Nap time. Berate house elf for fanning too vigorously.
2:00 Inspect gardens. Use Avada Kedavra on gnomes.
3:00 Tea time with Narcissa. Berate house elf because cookies are too sugary.
3:30 Write love letter to Voldemort.
4:00 Croquet with the Crabbes and Goyles. Berate house elf for twitching while being used as a mallet.
6:00 Supper. Berate house elf for pounding head on the good china cabinet.
7:00 Backgammon with MacNair. Plot to rid the world of mudbloods.
8:00 Retire to drawing room with brandy. Berate house elf because fire in fireplace is too crackly.
9:30 Time for a bubble bath. Dream of being Triwizard Champion. No, better yet, dream of beating the self-satisfied stuffing out of a Triwizard Champion...
11:00 Retire to bed after a long day. Berate house elf because bunny slippers are not fluffy enough.
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