"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."
-- Hermione Granger (OP21)
Quotes by and about Hermione Granger
From Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone
“I hope you’re pleased with yourselves. We could have been all killed — or worse, expelled.” (PS9)
“You’re saying it wrong,” Harry heard Hermione snap. “It’s Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa, and make the ‘gar’ nice and long.” (PS10)
“Neville, I’m really, really sorry about this.” She raised her wand. “Petrificus Totalus!” (PS16)
“Books! And cleverness! There are more important things — friendship and bravery.” (PS16)
From Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Arthur Weasley upon meeting the Grangers in Gringotts: “But you’re Muggles! We must have a drink! What’s that you’ve got there? Oh, you’re changing Muggle money. Molly, look!” (CS4)
“At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent.” (CS7)
Hagrid: “An’ they haven’t invented a spell our Hermione can’ do.” (CS7)
“That’s what Hermione does. When in doubt, go to the library.” (CS)
“Merry Christmas to you too,” said Hermione. “I’ve been up for nearly an hour, adding more lacewings to the potion. It’s ready.” (CS12)
“What’s that?” asked Harry, pointing to something gold sticking out from under Hermione’s pillow. “‘Just a Get Well card,” said Hermione hastily, trying to poke it out of sight, but Ron was too quick for her. He pulled it out, flicked it open and read aloud: ‘To Miss Granger, wishing you a speedy recovery, from your concerned teacher, Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League and five times winner of Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming-Smile Award.’
Ron looked up at Hermione, disgusted.
“You sleep with this under your pillow?” (CS13)
From Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Ron: “You bought that monster?”
“He’s gorgeous, isn’t he?”
“Hermione, that thing nearly scalped me!”
“He didn’t mean to, did you, Crookshanks? . . . Poor Crookshanks, that witch said he’d been in there for ages; no one wanted him.”
“I wonder why.” (PA4)
Professor Trelawney surveyed Hermione with mounting dislike.
“You’ll forgive me for saying so, my dear, but I perceive very little aura around you. Very little receptivity to the resonances of the future.” (PA6)
“Five points from Gryffindor,” said Snape, “I told you not to help him, Miss Granger.” (PA7)
Ron: “That was the best Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson we’ve ever had, wasn’t it?”
Hermione: “[Lupin] seems like a very good teacher. But I wish I could have had a turn with the boggart –”
Ron: “What would it have been for you? A piece of homework that only got nine out of ten?” (PA)
“That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger,” said Snape coolly. “Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all.” (PA9)
“Yeah, it will,” Ron said fiercely. “You won’t have to do all the work alone this time, Hermione. I’ll help.”
Hermione flung her arms around Ron’s neck and broke down completely. Ron, looking quite terrified, patted her very awkwardly on the top of the head.” (PA15)
“Fine!” said Hermione suddenly, getting up and cramming Unfogging the Future back into her bag. “Fine!” she repeated, swinging her bag over her shoulder and almost knocking Ron of his chair. “I give up! I’m leaving!”
And to the whole class’s amazement, Hermione strode over to the trapdoor, kicked it open, and climbed down the ladder out of sight. (PA15)
Draco talking about Hagrid: “Look at him blubber! Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic?” said Malfoy. “And he’s supposed to be our teacher!”
Harry and Ron both made furious moves toward Malfoy, but Hermione got there first — SMACK!
She had slapped Malfoy across the face with all the strength she could muster. Malfoy staggered. Harry, Ron, Crabbe, and Goyle stood flabbergasted as Hermione raised her hand again.
“Hermione!” said Ron weakly, and he tried to grab her hand as she swung it back.
“Get off, Ron!”
Hermione pulled out her wand. Malfoy stepped backward. Crabbe and Goyle looked at him for instructions, thoroughly bewildered.
“C’ mon,” Malfoy muttered, and in a moment, all three of them had disappeared into the passageway to the dungeons. (PA16)
Professor Lupin: “Not at all up to your usual standard, Hermione. Only one out of three, I’m afraid. I have not been helping Sirius get into the castle and I certainly don’t want Harry dead…” An odd shiver passed over his face. “But I won’t deny that I am a werewolf.” (PA17)
Professor Lupin: “You’re the cleverest witch of your age I’ve ever met, Hermione.” (PA17)
From Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
“Spew?” said Harry, picking up a badge and looking at it. “What’s this about?”
“Not spew,” said Hermione impatiently, “It’s S-P-E-W. Stands for the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare.” (GF14)
“I can’t come with you,” said Hermione, now blushing, “because I’m already going with someone.”
“No you’re not!” said Ron. “You just said that to get rid of Neville!”
“Oh did I?” said Hermione, and her eyes flashed dangerously.
“Just because it’s taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn’t mean no one else has spotted I’m a girl!” (GF22)
“Twitchy little ferret, aren’t you Malfoy?” (GF22)
Hermione was now teaching Krum to say her name properly; he kept calling her “Hermy-own.”
“Her-my-oh-nee,” she said slowly and clearly.
“I told you!” Ron hissed at Hermione as she stared down the article. “I told you not to annoy Rita Skeeter! She’s made you out to be some sort of-scarlet woman!”
Hermione stopped looking astonished and snorted with laughter. “Scarlet woman?” she repeated, shaking with suppressed giggles as she looked around at Ron. (GF)
“You horrible woman,” she said, through gritted teeth, “you don’t care, do you, anything for a story, and anyone will do, won’t they? Even Ludo Bagman –”
“Sit down, you silly little girl, and don’t talk about things you don’t understand,” said Rita Skeeter coldly, her eyes hardening as they fell on Hermione. (GF24)
“Aren’t you ever going to read Hogwarts, A History?”
“What’s the point?” said Ron. “You know it by heart, we can just ask you.” (GF28)
From Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry: “Been having a nice little chat with her about whether or not I’m a lying, attention-seeking prat, have you?” Harry said loudly.
“No,” said Hermione calmly, “I told her to keep her big fat mouth shut about you, actually. And it would ge quite a nice if you stopped jumping down Ron’s and my throats, Harry, because if you haven’t noticed, we’re on your side.” (OP12)
“Listen to me!” said Harry, almost angrily, because Ron and Hermione were both smirking now. “Just listen to me, all right? It sounds great when you say it like that, but all that stuff was luck — I didn’t know what I was doing half the time, I didn’t plan any of it, I just did whatever I could think of, and I nearly always had help –“‘
Ron and Hermione were still smirking and Harry felt his temper rise; he wasn’t even sure why he was feeling so angry.
“Don’t sit there grinning like you know better than I do, I was there, wasn’t I?” he said heatedly. “I know what went on, all right? And I didn’t get through any of that because I was brilliant at Defense Against the Dark Arts, I got through it all because — because help came at the right time, or because I guessed right — but I just blundered through it all, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing — STOP LAUGHING!”
The bowl of Murtlap essence fell to the floor and smashed. He became aware that he was on his feet, though he couldn’t remember standing up. Crookshanks streaked away under a sofa. Ron and Hermione’s smiles had vanished.
“You don’t know what it’s like! You — neither of you — you’ve never had to face him, have you? You think it’s just memorizing a bunch of spells and throwing them at him, like you’re in class or something? The whole time you’re sure you know there’s nothing between you and dying except your own — your own brain or guts or whatever — like you can think straight when you know you’re about a nanosecond from being murdered, or tortured, or watching your friends die — they’ve never taught us that in their classes, what it’s like to deal with things like that — and you two sit there acting like I’m a clever little boy to be standing here, alive, like Diggory was stupid, like he messed up — you just don’t get it, that could just as easily have been me, it would have been if Voldemort hadn’t needed me –”
“We weren’t saying anything like that, mate,” said Ron, looking aghast. “We weren’t having a go at Diggory, we didn’t — you’ve got the wrong end of the –”
He looked helplessly at Hermione, whose face was stricken.
“Harry,” she said timidly, “don’t you see? This … this is exactly why we need you…. We need to know what it’s r-really like … facing him … facing V-Voldemort.”
It was the first time she had ever said Voldemort’s name and it was this, more than anything else, that calmed Harry. (OP15)
“I also think we should have a name,” she said brightly, her hand still in the air. “It would promote a feeling of team spirit and unity, don’t you think?
“Can we be called the Anti-Umbridge League?” said Angelina hopefully.
“Or the Ministry of Magic are Morons Group?” suggested Fred.
“I was thinking,” said Hermione, frowning at Fred, “more of a name that doesn’t tell everyone what we were up to, so we can refer to it safely outside meetings.”
“The Defense Association?” said Cho. “The D.A. for short, so nobody knows what we’re talking about?”
“Yeah, the D.A.’s good,” said Ginny. “Only let’s make it stand for Dumbledore’s Army because that’s the Ministry’s worst fear, isn’t it?” (OP18)
“Ron,” said Hermione in a dignified voice, dipping the point of her quill into her ink pot, “you are the most insensitive wart I have ever had the misfortune to meet.” (OP21)
A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, “One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode.”
“Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have,” said Hermione nastily, picking up her quill again. (OP21)
“You should write a book,” Ron told Hermione as he cut up his potatoes, “translating mad things girls do so boys can understand them.” (OP26)
“That’s the trouble with Quidditch,” said Hermione absentmindedly, once again bent over her Rune translation, “it creates all this bad feeling and tension between the Houses.”
She looked up to find her copy of Spellman’s Syllabary and caught Fred, George, and Harry looking at her with expressions of mingled disgust and incredulity on their faces.
“Well, it does!” she said impatiently. “It’s only a game isn’t it?”
“Hermione,” said Harry, shaking his head, “you’re good on feelings and stuff, but you just don’t understand about Quidditch.”
“Maybe not,” she said darkly, returning to her translation again, “but at least my happiness doesn’t depend of Ron’s goalkeeping ability.” (OP26)
“This isn’t a criticism, Harry! But you do … sort of … I mean — don’t you think you’ve got a bit of a — a — saving people thing?” she said. [Harry responds] “…I mean, that was really great of you and everything,” said Hermione quickly, looking positively petrified at the look on Harry’s face. “Everyone thought it was a wonderful thing to do –” (OP32)
But the Death Eater Hermione had just struck dumb [Antonin Dolohov] made a sudden slashing movement with his wand from which flew a streak of what looked like purple flame. It passed right across Hermione’s chest; she gave a tiny “oh!” as though of surprise and then crumpled onto the floor where she lay motionless. (OP35)
Primary editor: Lisa Waite Bunker. Thanks to Julie Robertson who sent in some great quotes.
Original page date 23 January, 2005; Last page update 25 January, 2008.