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Daily Prophet newsletter 2

- Issue 2
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The Harry Potter Canon
DP2

Feb 8th 1999
The Daily Prophet
Price: 7 Knuts


Page 1 – Headlines:
ENQUIRY AT THE IMPROPER USE OF MAGIC OFFICE
The disappearance of a Muggle “tube train” led to the suspension of a Ministry of Magic employee. [Cornelius Fudge is incidentally revealed as a Gobstones fan.] The unnamed Daily Prophet reporter revealed that the offender was the Minister’s nephew, Rufus Fudge, who did it for a bet. The Muggles did not notice that the train had gone missing.

CELESTINA WARBECK CONCERT CAUSES BROOM SMASH OVER LIVERPOOL
There was a three-broom crash over the River Mersey of late ticket holders for the concert.

TROLL RIGHTS MOVEMENT OUT OF CONTROL
An anti-troll meeting was invaded by Troll Rights activists. Careless club swinging by the trolls knocked out their own spokeswitch.

Separate box contains a reference to an editorial on page 11 (not included) entitled “WHY THE JOKE’S ON THE MINISTRY, NOT THE MUGGLES“.


Page 2 – Classified Advertisements:
JOBS

FOR SALE

  • Broomstick, Shooting Star
  • Broomstick, Silver Arrow
  • Secondhand cauldrons
  • Chudley Cannons memorabilia – fan making “clean break”
  • Collected works of Gilderoy Lockhart
  • Hothouse herbs – bouquets of henbane and belladonna, potted mandrakes
  • Muggle “batteries” collection – being sold by A. Weasley
  • Muggle Guards – device shrieks when touched by a Muggle
  • Secondhand Quidditch balls

LONELY HEARTS

  • Shy sorcerer seeks wicked witch
  • Warlock into Transfiguration seeks like-minded witch
  • Quiet witch seeks non-bat owning wizard
  • Crazy sorceress seeks wacky wizard

BIRTHS

  • Egmont Elvert Hobday – a son for Violetta and Hilliard
  • Griselda Harmonia Jorkins – a daughter for Primrose and Albert and sister for Grimwold and Granville

DEATHS

Advertisement: Transfiguration Today magazine


Page 3 – Sports:

Quidditch League Table & Match Information

Forthcoming matches listed are:

Headlines:

Calendar and Dates

Although the date printed on DP2 is 8 February 1999, the timeframe for these events is 1992-1993.

Interesting facts and notes

The Liverpool concert that the injured Celestina Warbeck fans were rushing to catch was part of her "Flighty Aphrodite" tour (Pm).

Memorable lines

‘Alasdair made a simple mistake, which admittedly cost us the match and made us slip to third place in the League. I am quite sure, however, that nothing like this will happen again. He will certainly be unable to kick the Snitch if I turn him into a jellyfish, which is the sort of simple mistake I might allow myself one of these days.’ - Cormack McLeod, manager of the Magpies, speaking about Alasdair Maddock, a Chaser who is becoming overly fond of Muggle sports

Deaths: Warlock Demetrius J. Prod
November 27th, very noisily at home after an argument about the washing-up. Sadly missed by wife Elsie.

For Sale: Muggle ‘batteries’ – collection has grown too large to house, any reasonable offer accepted. Contact A. Weasley, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, Ministry of Magic.

‘It was only supposed to be a bit of fun. ....Rufus wanted to see how long it would take the Muggles to notice that one of their trains had gone into a tunnel and not come out again, so we took bets round the office. Rufus won; he said it would take ages and he was right. Seems it happens all the time. Took the Muggles an hour and a half to realize the train had vanished into thin air.’

Characters Introduced

Daily Prophet newsletters
Issue 2 — Daily Prophet newsletter 2
Author
Dimensions 1987 words, A4, 3 pages
Publication
Abbreviation DP2
Canonicity Secondary Canon

Commentary

Demetrius J. Prod is mentioned and, from the context, he seems to be the same person as the D.J. Prod who wrote in praise of KwikSpell in book two (CS8).

A. Weasley's battery collection has obviously outstripped his wife's capacity to tolerate its existence.... However, they are still in his possession in book four (or else he started a new collection) (GF4).

Pensieve (Comments)

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The Harry Potter Canon